It’s taken this long to write up the report for this match, because it’s taken me so long to get used to the result.

On the one hand, I’m remembering my view at the start of the season that one bloody win in the whole bloody season would have been great.  Buuuuut, I’ve completely got swept up with the glories of the last few months and can’t help but feel disappointed.

This is Bloody Bolton after all!

Positives:

Bloody Bolton (and I will continue to call them that – I don’t give a toss that they are Phil Brown’s old club) were always going to be a difficult side for us.  They play tight (and not a little dirty) and would have seen Hull as a real target – therefore would have done their homework (unlike a certain M Wenger).

It was only 1-0 and there were lots of chances to equalise / go ahead.

Without Jussi (Phil’s mate just to rub it in), 2 great goals at least would have gone in for Hull.

Pete says both teams looked pretty good.

Alan Shearer thinks we’re safe (is this a positive?)

If Fagan had been fit, this game would have really suited him.

Negatives:

If Gary “Gollum” Megson can put together a strategy to beat us, anyone can, even Tony Adams.

What happens at home?  Is it the pressure?  Worrying sign that a number of home games have seen feeble performances (relatively).

The quality is being spread wafer thin

Well – onwards and upwards I guess.  Who knows….

Well, well, well…

That was a title I didn’t expect to type.  At half time I was saying I’d be “happy” if it went to 5-1, because at least we’d scored at Old Trafford.

Watching it live through an online streaming thing makes you feel a bit dizzy and sick after a while and it’s hard to properly follow what’s happening.

Like everyone, I’ve watched ManU hundreds of times, so of course I knew they were good.  And bloody hell we allowed them to be great in the first half.  Their passing and speed and constant hassling is, well, awesome. 

Even comparing them against Chelski the other day, they just looked so good – and the team effort that really stands out with them.  Every ManU player is obviously schooled to harrass and press whenever the opposition has the ball.  Chelsea have a team of great players, but ManU play great as a team.

Enough of this Scum-loving now!

Well, I was scared of the ManU midfield sitting at home, so I can completely understand why the Hull players lost heart.  The passing was atrocious in the first half, but I really think Ashbee was missed – he would have kept it a bit neater (or have been sent off for breaking Rooney’s leg…)

Geo was especially guilty of giving the ball away – and as every armchair pundit knows – against the top teams POSSESSION IS EVERYTHING ALAN.

So, a very good free kick got us a goal back – and that almost seemed enough.  At half-time, 3-1 – not too shabby.

When they went up to 4-1, the Setanta pundits were writing us off and Steve and I were making ridiculous, hopeful statements, like:  “It would be even better than Liverpool in the Champions League final if we equalise ha ha ha…”

First half is not so much Scotland against Brazil, but San Marino against Brazil.

Once again, it seemed that when all hope seems to be lost, all the fear and self-consciousness in the players evaporates.  All the nerves that make home games so testy are washed away as (what seems like) genuine bloody-minded outrage at being beaten takes over.

It helped that Brown made another of his mind-bogglingly good substitions.  In previous posts I’ve dismissed Mendy as shit, but when he came on it changed the game.

He had pace on the wing – and then – that GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes, it was a goal, but it took us ages to realise and for quite a while I wondered if the City players realised it had been given.

4-2.  The Sentanta commentators are dribbling on about Hull continuing to bother to play even though they are shit, ManU are shit hot and why do they bother, you’d think they’d realise that they should just concede the game now…

God obviously hates patronising pundits too because it’s clear the newly 4-5-1 City are now passing the ball around well, Ronaldo is having an off-day and reverting to dying swan routines because his attempts on goal go wide, Rooney’s starting to get a frustrated (there’s a brilliant close-up at one point of him shouting about a decision that didn’t go his way where you don’t need to be a lipreader to see he’s saying “fuucccchhhhhhhin penalteeeee”) and it generally looks more even.

ManU are still horrifically scary when they get the ball though, but it must be the tension that causes Rio to pull down Mendy in the box.  PENALTY!!!!

I can barely watch Geo go to take it, but – wow – great penalty.

4-3.  We want to equalise so much, but then the patronising commentators (who are of course now Hull City cheerleaders) point out that ManU haven’t conceded since the first game of the season – and now they’ve conceded 3

If we’d had 5 more minutes, I reckon we would have definitely equalised – if not won…

By the way, the absence of a West Brom match report is no reflection on my thoughts about that game – I just developed a particularly nasty cold after it and have basically have been living in a world of phlegm.

Breaking news:  Congrats to Stoke on beating Arsenal – hope they’re enjoying it as much as we did!

Text from Andy:

Sent you a link for tonight’s match by email bruv

Reply from me:

Ta bro u watching?  (I’m always elequent whether I am texting or writing this blog you can see…)

From Andy:

Yep.  Not doing 2 bad apart from the goal!  (Refers to the soft goal conceded after about 2 minutes and directly after I said “good, yes that’s right, good defending”)

Reply from me:

Everytime i say they look good they f up so i say they look shit (NB – this isn’t self-censorship – predictive texting doesn’t recognise the f-word)

From Andy:

Haha.  Keep saying it.  (Just before half-time, a half where Hull looked strong and positive despite the goal)

From Andy: (at the end of the game)

Ah tits.  God game though.  Thought they dug in well after 2 mins.  Brian.

Reply from me:

The new boys did all they could.  What a dream if the 60 year old local hero had scored.  Back to you Alan

From Andy:

The real winner was fusball.

…

In summary:

We played well in the first half and looked more than capable of equalising (Against Chelsea!!!!)

Lost it a bit and turned into headless chickens in the second half, it reminded me of watching Scotland v Brazil – probably a fair comparison.

So, we lost at home – but we lost at home to Chelsea - and didn’t look too bad.

Predictable and everyone’s going to do it…

London 0 Hull 4 Phil Brown Housemartins cover

I almost didnt’t dare to publish the London 0 Hull 4 prediction in my last post

Soooooo proud.  Can only think of incoherent, celebratory guff.

Rode our luck at times, but Michael Turner proved to be awesome once again.

Surely now people will stop dismissing us as relegation fodder.  Sure, it can all still go wrong, but you explain away this run of results as flukey, or being in the right place at the right time.

HULL CITEEEEE WE LOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Q – What is the connection between the Humber Estuary and the Bay of Naples?

A – this blog and not much else.

No apologies for this blog turning into a travelogue.  Last week we were huddled around a car radio in the Lake District, this week news of Tottenham Hotspur v Hull City comes from the Sorrentine Peninsula.

Sorry for the late posting (I’m addressing the one reader I know exists- thanks for the comment!), but in my defence I have navigated across downtown Napoli TWICE in the last week and survived, so I think my tardiness can be excused. 

(Napoli, or at least the bit we were in, is an absolute scary hole – and I say that having lived in some of the most worst, most crime-ridden places in England over the years.  But, hey - the Napolese do love their football….)

So, it’s getting towards the end of our first full day in Sorrento and we’re already keen on the little bar at the end of the street which is run by a Dean Martin fan who seems to be Richard Harris’ Italian brother (by the looks of him).  Typically for Northerners abroad we’re still getting used to being on holiday, we’re struggling to shake off home – carrying unnecessary jumpers and coats around in heavy bags, even though there’s no chance it will rain, and we’re still thinking about the football results…

We can’t properly hear telly in the bar as it is being drowned out by Dean (Martin, not Windass), but it is set to the BBC 24 thing with the running headlines at the bottom of the screen.

About 15 mins of seeing the Man City v Liverpool result flash up again and again, we work out that they aren’t going to show all the premiership football results and, we seem to have missed out on the Sports round-up.

Out with our mobiles.  The Orange Wap sports service is pretty ace (hello Ross, hello Chris!) and I don’t say that just because I used to work there.  Aaaaaarrrggggghhhhh – we have no idea why, but we can’t get onto wap.  Such is the doomladen tone of the BBC’s coverage of the financial crisis, we serously wonder if the UK has been shut down or something.

Steve Texts Andy and we get an imediate reply:  We won 1-0 and we’re 3rd!”

“Wheeeeen the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine – that’s amore! Do de doo doooo…”
 
So – thank you very much Hull City for doing so bloody well.  I blame you for that ”just one more glass of wine” which made me feel grumpy and headachy on our day trip to Capri the next day!

Is it tempting fate to count up that already this season Hull have beaten 3 London clubs and we meet West Ham next saturday? Subs across the country are ready with “Hull 4 London 0″ headlines.

Hoping to get tickets for Saturday.  If not at the KC, will definitely be in Yorkshire anyway cheering on.
Predictions?

CAN’T STOP SAYING OH MY GOD

This feels better than winning the World Cup, the FA Cup, going to No 1, getting an Oscar etc etc.

Highlights:

Alan Shearer saying:  That was the goal of the season and let’s just talk about how well Hull City played – they were magnificent:  

Arsene Wenger’s post-match interview – he thinks it’s West Brom who beat them.

The Times filing their match report without any mention of whippets, council estates, aging legendary strikers, oop north and no use of the word “plucky”.

A Derby fan (hi Paul) pointing out that Hull have already have the 11 points Derby County achieved in their fateful / fatal season.

Being congratulated by a Man U fan! 

Reading the Football 365 Mailbox and noting that Hull have been adopted by many fans as a 2nd team.

We weren’t at the Emirates, attending a family do in the Lake District.  Turned on the radio in the car as soon as we could, just before half time.  Utterly elated when we realised we were still 0-0 (benefit of hindsight – hahahahahahaha).

Driving along dangerously country roads the tension increased when the 5Live radio commentry kept zoning out: 

“…And here’s Eboue in the penalty area….MMMMBBBBBBBSSSSHHKKKKKRRRRRRRRRREEEEESSSSSSSSHHHHHHH”

“…what’s happening,can you tell?”

 ”SSSHHHKKKKEEEEEEEESSSSHHHH….and MMMMMMMMBBBBBBWWWW…excellent defending from Turner….” 

So, Hul has made history, yeah?  Pointlessly me trying to recount it.  I will never forget us driving down a wee track of a country road, the car rocking as Steve and I almost explode with excitement.

1st – that wonder goal to equalise (love Geo’s Brazilian nonchalance as he just takes his time to decide what he’s doing).

2nd – went ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (no apologies for the exclamation marks). 

It’s such a good job we didn’t pass anyone  when that happened- not just because the excitement levels made the driving extremely dangerous, but because we almost certainly looked as though we were re-enacting the Bohemian Rhapsody heasdbanging scene from Waynes World.

Nailbiting (literally in my case) end to the game – the four of us sat in a pub car park listening to the car radio.

Andy and Cath – if you’re reading – we don’t think you’re Jonahs anymore!!!!!

And so I wonder (as Carrie Bradshaw would say) will Spurs wake up and play well, or we just stop them?

The Dawson Brothers do battle.

Has the advantage of the element of surprise gone for Hull know?  Will team’s prepare better now they aren’t seen as lousy relegation fodder?  (Surely most managers will prepare better than Wenger seemed to!)

(apologies if there are typos all over this – keyboard playing up…)

Don’t let anyone tell you that it was crap to end up with “just a draw”.

Some perspective people:  Everton finished 5th last season.  That’s 5th.  They are also the only football team to have broken into the “top 4″ in recent years.

Also they have some more than decent players (everyone wishing Cahill is injured – just a joke!) so 3 months ago most City fans would have been happy with a pasting – and over the moon with a draw.

Damn though, we’re 7th now

It is a shame that the contentration seemed to evaporate midway through the 2nd half letting Everton back in the game.  This is going to happen though.

Most shocking aspect – Lawro’s prediction was bob on!!!!!  (This surely is a sign of the impending apocalypse…..)

Knees quiver slightly at the prospect of facing Arsenal – I reckon they will be champions this year (although, typing that has bu**ered that up).

So you reckon the dream might be over?

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

You may have heard that Newcastle are having a few difficulties?

During the international break Newcastle had plenty of time to appoint a replacement for Keggy and that was the worry for Hull fans - if they got someone sh*t hot and they would get that boost from having a new leader to inspire them.

Well, this being Newcastle, that hasn’t happened.  I don’t want to gloat about their troubles, especially as I’ve had a few good nights in Newcastle in the past and hell – it’s these sorts of big name clubs with history and international fame that we’ve been looking forward to playing against.

However – I would love it, just love it if we beat them!

Pete is at the match – up in the gods he tells us after.  A really good view of the pitch, but feeling somewhat disconnected.

I chuckle everytime Manish on Football Focus says “Haaahhll” in that BBC accent (there’s been a fan for a number of years who is famous for shouting out “Cahm on Haahhll” in the same southern softie accent - struggling to spell it so, think Paul Whitehouse doing the “with my reputation”.

We’re back listening to Burnsie lion Radio Humberside (BBC – don’t you think it’s about time to change the name now!).

Goal!  Protest! Protest!  Goal!  Condede…Win!

Hull City have beaten Newcastle at home, playing in the same formation that the King Kev devised. 

Hull City have stopped Michael Owen from scoring - and beaten Shay Given twice.

Are you watching Wigan?

Are you watching Lawro?

Yeah, yeah – according to all the experts the victory is just due to Newcastle’s troubles, rather than Hull City’s skills…

And if we beat Everton (which we won’t now I’ve typed that…) they will say it’s because of difficulties facing the Everton team blah blah…

Bring it on anyway.